Maura's next chemo cycle will be delayed because of low platelets. She will have one of the fancy boostherplatelets injections tomorrow and another one next week. Then Dr. B. will re-evaluate.
I understand the importance of getting those platelets up to a level where she won't be in danger of bleeding to death; nevertheless, every time there is a delay in her treatment, I feel a flutter of panic. So, I go back to the concordance at the back of my Bible and start looking up all the verses that have the word trust in them. It's the only thing that calms me when I wake up at 3 a.m. in a cold sweat.
About Me
- Erin
- This is a picture of my daughter, Maura. She died from metastatic high-grade unclassified sarcoma* on May 19, 2009 at the age of 22. For one year I wrote about her journey with cancer. I don't know if I'll keep writing now or if I'm done. We'll just take it a day at a time. *Sarcoma is a little-known, under-researched, under-funded cancer. To contribute directly to research please consider giving a gift directly to: MD Anderson Cancer Center- Donations, PO Box 4486, Houston TX 77210-4486 ****(Please write "In memory of Maura de Souza " in the memo portion of the check to make sure it goes directly for sarcoma research.)
2 comments:
Anxiety is so common we tend to overlook it and just accept it as simply a part of life. But truthfully, anxiety is a sin. A very subtle and "acceptable" sin, but none the less it is sinful. I certainly mean no condemnation by that statement. I'm one of the biggest worry-warts I know. I'm constantly telling myself these truths - it applies to all of us.
1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast our prayers upon Him. Why do we do that? Because He cares for us! Imagine that, The God of this Universe who created all things and wrought salvation in our hearts cares for us!
We usually worry because we are trying to control something that is out of our ability to control. Christ talks about how people often try to figure out what life will be like tomorrow. Now, most of us have common things to worry about like school, work, getting new toys, putting up Christmas lights, etc... In Mat 6:25-34 Christ addresses these kinds of concerns. In your situation the concerns are more serious, I readily admit that. But, the principle is the same. There is nothing else you or your lovely Maura can do to change what happens tomorrow, so you just have to take it one day at a time. ["Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."]
If we believe what we say we believe, that God cares for us; if we believe Christ when he told his disciples that the first and greatest commandment is to LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul; then we must practice this love by ridding ourselves of anxiety. Since love bears all things, endures all things [1 Cor 13] we cannot both say that we are fully loving God with our hearts (by definition) if we are not bearing all things, evident by our anxiety.
Hopefully you will be encouraged as you think upon these truths; chiefly that he does care for you. Even in circumstances where it's difficult to see. I will continue to pray for your family and look forward to more good reports!
Sleep well,
-Josh-
Love you guys and will continue to pray for you. Psalm 91 is one of my favorite expressions of our fathers love and protection. I hope it brings you comfort too. Tamara x
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