OMG

Today's milestone: One year ago today Sam Houston State University moved mountains to bring Maura's graduation to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. The link to the graduation video is on the right. The best graduation ever and the only ten-minute graduation you'll ever see. Even today I am moved by the generosity of the SHSU staff, faculty, and administration who put it together and made a four-hour round trip to do this for Maura.

I truly thought that I would get to this time of year and be okay. Not "over it" because I'll never be over it, but I thought that I'd be able to get through this specific time of year, with the anniversary approaching, without being completely overwhelmed. Wrong! Uh, for the first time since returning to work in August, I arrived at the staff parking lot, and I could not pull it together. The ride to work has often been a time to cry and mourn--not recently, and never on purpose, but just because of the solitude, I guess. Yet I've always managed to compose myself, put on some makeup, and go to work. Not so today. I had to call my co-worker from the parking lot and let her know I wasn't going to be able to make it. I could not stop the tears.
Why is this time any different than the rest of the year? I know that the anniversary is approaching, but can I possibly mourn her more than I already have during these last eleven + months?