Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Week

I find myself in the thick of the week leading up to the second anniversary of her death. Overwhelming memories. On this date, such-and-such happened. The fateful call to Dr. B. on Sunday, the Monday morning he told her that she was dying, the visit by the Dynamo, her graduation from SHSU, the conversations, the hospital full of people, her hospice set-up at home, the Goodbye concert, the constant flow of people, the vigil, the last hug.
Mother's Day was once again not the best. Not as bad as last year, but still quite difficult, partly, because I tried to donate blood but was rejected due to high bp; I took it hard because I wanted to give for Maura. 
For my birthday, I proactively organized Chinese take-out and game night--that worked out well. 
I'm working lots of hours in somewhat of a fog. Vietnam is dangled in front of me--postponed  and reset and postponed and reset and postponed and reset.
Anticipating a bad day on the 19th, I took the day off. On that day, Joel and I will help tear down walls at the church. I hear that swinging a sledgehammer can be therapeutic. In the evening, I have an appointment at MD Anderson to donate platelets. If I can successfully donate, then I think I'll make a tradition of donating on this anniversary
Saved

3 comments:

Amanda said...

We love you, Erin!

Sue G said...

Maura's loss will always be felt...on every day...on special days...on, well, days.

I can only imagine.

Praying for God's grace to see you through the days, for God's mercy to guide you through them, and for God's gentle whisper to tell your heart that Maura lives...forever.

Anonymous said...

As I said to D today this is never an ending. You will see her and she will also see you all again...remember that and be strong. I know how hard it is to do believe me. However, those thoughts have carried me through years now. We don't know why God makes the decisions he does but we know there is a reason. Trust his judgement and have peace knowing
he had a reason to choose Maura.

My thoughts are with you all today!

LP