Saturday, September 11, 2010

Earrings

Someone complimented me for my funky, blue-green, fish earrings.
I blurted out, "Yeah, that's how I know that I'm getting better--because I started to wear my earrings again."
What?
I had not consciously thought that, but as soon as I said it, I knew it was true.
I have a great collection of cheap, gaudy earrings. The bigger and cheaper, the better. I am proud that most items in my collection cost less than $2.00. I hang them on a piece of embroidery plastic that I fixed up and placed on my wall like a piece of art.
My collection is nothing compared to Maura's. She was the Earring Queen. I was merely her Handmaiden. After she died, I'm not quite sure what I did with her earrings. Certain ones she had willed to certain people. I know I gave some away, but I can't really remember doing it. It's amazing how much I still don't remember from the months after her death.
But I know that a few pairs belonging to Maura are now on my earring board.
I don't remember when I stopped wearing them. I think it was during her illness. I lost interest. And afterwards, well, there was no joy in wearing them. Wearing flashy earrings for me is like wearing high heels for Elsa(red ones) and Michelle. They are fun, pretty, and make me feel good.
But I didn't feel good.
Earrings bring me small joys, but I didn't want to be joyful.
Because being joyful means I've forgotten Maura.
Duh, of course I know that is not true. But feelings are feelings. Sometimes it's just better to let them be rather than try to explain or understand them. They seem to work themselves out most of the time.. .
In any case, I've started wearing them again. Golden grass discs from Brazil. Red hot chili peppers from Italy. Dangling dyed fish scales. Beads and bark and seeds. Feathers and wind-catchers. Wires and colored stones and bamboo.

5 comments:

Sue G said...

Welcome home. I've missed your meanderings, wisdom, insight, and humor. Your writing always includes snippets of each category. I wonder if you are aware of that.

Flashy earrings. Maura must be so happy. I'm sure to her, your adornments are symbolic of your zest for life. She would want you to live richly. Because that's what you taught her to do.

You are always in my thoughts. Thanks for writing again.

Jim Coffey said...

Thanks for writing. While I'm the wrong male generation to wear earings I now have a new reason to buy low cost flashy earings for others and tell them the story of our wonderful friend Maura.
Thoughts and prayers from the Coffey's.

Anonymous said...

welcome back my very dear friend!!! i, too, have missed you!!!

dhbryan said...

Erin, I noticed the earring board when I toured your new digs and thought how that's always been one of your ornamentations.

Glad you are willing to partake once again in small joys, especially the ones that connect you to Maura's small joys, too.

Read an article tonight on grieving. Some like to wear their departed loved one's jewelry. I find myself putting on my mom's rings some day ... especially days like today when I WANT to think of her, but can't go visit (part of her is still in that Alzheimer's ridden body, but I'm grieving the part that's gone).

Glad you blogged.

Lydia said...

Mom, I have almost all her earrings. She willed them to me bc she said my measly collection needed help. That, and I was always "borrowing forever" her earrings anyway. A lucky few got to choose a pair they wanted to keep as well. I wear them all the time--mostly because I love when people go, "wow! I love your earrings!" and I get to say, "My sister gave them to me."