Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dishes

Come get your dishes. You brought meals after Maura died, but I don't know who you are, and I don't know how to get your dishes back to you. A piece of clear tape dangles from the bottom of one green glass bowl, so I figure that at least one of you intended to use your dish again. Unfortunately, the name on the tape has washed out.
Thank you all for the food. You were so very kind to think of our practical needs at a time when we couldn't, and I am very grateful.
Many people came and went in our home before and after Maura's death, and we all needed to eat.
I can't remember. Really, I can't recall one specific meal for the whole month of May, except for the hams. It's all pretty much a blur, so please forgive me. I try to recall specific events from the last couple of weeks in the hospital, from the few days of hospice care, from the memorial service, and from the days before and after the service, and I find myself looking at a tapestry with glaring moth-eaten holes and incomplete stories. It doesn't upset me. It's just weird.
We are all grieving and healing in our own way.
One of Maura's friends is having nightmares. I wish I knew how to help her. The internet has given me an armful of suggestions, all of which I hope to pass on to her soon.
Even though the following link refers specifically to holidays, I found the suggestions helpful for everyday healing.
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/publications/holidaytips/suggestions.html

3 comments:

SLY said...

I love your story and the way that you write. Even when you write about dishes. I would really like to send a homemade cheesecake you way soon!

lucas said...

Olá Erin e Joel. Quem escreve aqui é o Lucas de Belo Horizonte. Estive hospedado na residência de vocês em Houston em meados de 2005, juntamente com o Juliano. Soube do ocorrido e estou aqui para deixar uma mensagem de conforto e meus sentimentos. Apesar de ter sido apenas 1 semana junto de vcs,saibam que foram momentos inesquecíveis e marcantes. Me lembro como se fosse hoje, do cinema,do restaurante colombiano que Erin e Maura nos levou para aprender salsa. Enfim, espero que vcs tenham força para suportar tamanha dor. Gostaria de saber o email de vocês, o meu email é lucasfidelis91@hotmail.com. Um grande abraço!

Anonymous said...

Hello Erin,

For your daughter's friend, I would recommend grief counseling or a grief support group. Hopefully those outlets will be able to reduce her manifestations of grief in her dreams.