Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Nicole is bringing salmon and vegetables. Jessica brings me fresh veggie trays. Judy calls me for bike rides. Joni signed me up for pilates. This is comfort in 2009. This is friendship in 2009. Everyone making sure that I treat myself kindly so that I can recover in both body and spirit. Hello. Doesn't anyone make cheesecakes anymore?
Or ham?
Actually, I did get three or four real hams right after Maura died. Joni wrote in her blog that it is the ham that gets you in the door. The ham is how one can wordlessly express love to those who are grieving because words are oh so inadequate. The ham gently pushes me, the griever, to have human contact and relate in some way to the outside world.
Pilates, bike rides, salmon, and veggies are the new hams.
They are the hams for those of us with high cholesterol, high blood sugar and high blood pressure. Actually, I like to refer to them as Hi, Cholesterol; Hi, Blood Sugar; and Hi, Blood Pressure to indicate the friendly way in which I have welcomed them into my life in the last year or two.

Hey, I cracked a joke. I think that's progress.


suzq3751 said...

I'm still here and still thinking of you.
More hugs

trishawsch said...

I think that's progress too! Please call me if you could use another "ham."

Anonymous said...

We love you, Erin! So glad to know that you have such loving friends nearby! Keep the jokes coming=)

Anonymous said...

I think I now see the reason why Maura was who she was...Your daughter was amazing. You are amazing. I love your humor because it reminds me of Maura's humor. I still think about and pray for and love your family everyday.
~Sheerah Koloroutis

SLY said...

Hi Erin,

Don't know if you know this about me...but I love baking. And my specialty is CHEESECAKES.

And...recently a friend of mine did a kind thing so I'm in the process of baking her a cake, freezing it properly, and sending it to her with instructions of how to defrost it and enjoy it!

What that means for you is that I will do the same for you! I want to do whatever I can for you and your family.

Would you mind emailing me your address and your favorite kind of cheesecake, please!

I love you.

Chelsea Snow said...

GREAT PROGRESS! Always thinking of the de Souzas. Love you all.

Anonymous said...

Please read.

This is a big step forward in the fight against cancer.

L. Prada

Jennifer said...

You're my hero!

Eddie and I learned how to make cheesecakes a couple of years ago. If we were still in Houston, I'd make you one any time you wanted it.


Anonymous said...

Just a thought, everyday you should take time and think about a happy moment that you and Maura shared together! Something that would put a smile on your face. She was so loved and still is! You and your family are in my thoughts everyday!

Lindsay said...

Hi Erin, I really do hope you keep this blog going. It's people like you and Maura that make me want to keep fighting, and one day work in oncology.

I'm so glad you have such great friends, 2 steps forward, 1 step back. That's kind of the way I go through things. But you just keep stepping. <3


Cheryl said...

I taught both Lydia and Maura 6th grade science at Twin Creeks. I heard about Maura's illness and passing from Bambi Whitehouse whom I ran into at the grocery store earlier this week.
Both girls were a joy to have in the classroom and I remember them fondly. I am so sorry for your loss - Maura had such a bright spirit and I know she continues to make beautiful music. I will think of her when I see sunflowers (one of my favorites as well!)as well as keep all of you in my prayers.

Cheryl Celauro

Joni Rodgers said...

Hmm, I wonder if they allow cheesecake in the hot tub at LA Fitness...

Priscilla said...

oh PLEASE keep writing. it is good for you... and wonderful for me!!! i love reading what you write and look EVERY day to see the new tidbit.
As anonymous says here... think of one... twelve.... twenty seven happy moments you shared with Maura... maybe share some of that.... the emptiness wont feel so empty with time - as she is always in your heart.